Lovers Of Satire Gifts

"Hey! I was looking all over for you. You have the wrong piece of paper."

'The secret of life has been unknowable ever since we assigned it to a committee.'

Mistress Dominatra, Esq.

"...that isn't your Porsche ignition key. You got that off a tin of corned beef."

Three blind mice see personal injury lawyer: 'You've got a water-tight case here.'

'I'll show you my hidden agenda if you'll show me yours.'

"Well, this is a reassuring note, Mr. Bonwell: 'No dolphins were killed in the preparation of this résumé.' "

False Insurance Claims

Any luck finding a new credit source?

'You've a broken lamp and your underlay's dangerously worn.'

Jack in the box on strike.

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

"This is so moving. I just wish he didn't bring the merch stand."

"Red. . . Amber. . . Green. . ."

Politically incorrect cliche (blind man with seeing eye dog begging)

"Stop calling everything Kafka-esque

The Board

". . . and now, someone who needs no introduction. . ."

"How did you make that money? Did you pull a job without me?"

"The meaning of life. It's about 14 years, half off for good behaviour."

"I think they're beginning to suspect our science is fraudulent."

"It's a letter from your doctor..."

Help!"

'We don't say 'waiter' any more, sir - I'm your 'culinary choice consultant.''

'Give me your bag Oscar, if you want to do the genius gag.'

"In the absence of a better algorithm Mrs Makins will be assigning test results."

"President Elect Donald Trump was killed today. . . when he was crushed under the wight of his own ego."

'Sorry, I've just ran out of help, would you like some sex instead?'

Two prisoners playing chess

Mazes for stupid people.

'Dear Sir. Not much a letter, is it?'

'Old Man Crenshaw finally traded in his crow quill pen for a typewriter. If he gets a computer, he could reverse global warming.'

Coping with Normalcy

'Down here, greed is totally unregulated.'

Organ Grinder Robbery.