Fan Of Satire Gifts

"Thanks a bunch. I'll just run these by our committee and pass them along."

This would be Andy's first and last day as golf instructor at Sunset Oaks Country Club: "Remember, *hic*....Always jerk your head up and swing at the ball as hard as you can."

'Thank you for your input.'

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"Neither the time nor the place, Doug!"

Knights of the Round Whatever

Rudeness at the Greeting Card Rack

"I'm a huge fan of your work."

Sam hopes management doesn't see that he modified the electronic gate so he could pocket the receipts.

'Go ahead pick a floor, any floor, but I suggest not the one you live on.'

The Denouement is Nigh!

'One false move and I'll blow your head off!'

The Bitter End

John Banville

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

"The president says there isn't a flood. What's the harm in humoring him?" "Hey! Would somebody pull Lindsey up for air?"

"Do Mr. Reaper, do you have health insurance?"

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

Bureaucracy gone mad!

Jack in the box on strike.

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

In my day, they didn

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

CHANNEL THIRTEEN TAKES ON THE NETWORKS

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

"Ancient Aztec shaman-kings predicted a coming together of all the cultures of the world, creating a new enlightenment for human beings."

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

The Modern Damocles -

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

Family Butcher.

The Notre Dame Five Year Restoration Plan Swing Into Action.

'Think of an essay as a collection of tweets only joined together.'

The Unknown Philosopher, who first realised life is no picnic.