Fan Of Satire Gifts

"Thanks a bunch. I'll just run these by our committee and pass them along."

This would be Andy's first and last day as golf instructor at Sunset Oaks Country Club: "Remember, *hic*....Always jerk your head up and swing at the ball as hard as you can."

'Thank you for your input.'

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"Neither the time nor the place, Doug!"

Knights of the Round Whatever

Rudeness at the Greeting Card Rack

Sam hopes management doesn't see that he modified the electronic gate so he could pocket the receipts.

'Go ahead pick a floor, any floor, but I suggest not the one you live on.'

The Denouement is Nigh!

'One false move and I'll blow your head off!'

The Bitter End

John Banville

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

"The president says there isn't a flood. What's the harm in humoring him?" "Hey! Would somebody pull Lindsey up for air?"

"Do Mr. Reaper, do you have health insurance?"

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

Jack in the box on strike.

Bureaucracy gone mad!

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

CHANNEL THIRTEEN TAKES ON THE NETWORKS

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

Family Butcher.

The Modern Damocles -

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

The Unknown Philosopher, who first realised life is no picnic.

ENNUI...(smiley face).

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough...

'The secret of life has been unknowable ever since we assigned it to a committee.'