Modern Life Humor Fans Gifts

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

Peter

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

"Excuse me, Doc, my attention wandered. What type of deficit disorder did you say I had?"

Snowman Driver

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"Oh my gosh — so sorry! Those were extensions!"

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

"No way! You're a telemarketer?! This is so great – hold on, I want to get comfortable ... how did you get my number?"

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

"The doctor wants you to point to where it hurts."

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

Our Troubled Chowders

'I was texting when my pop spilled on my laptop, which made me drop my iPod. So you see, officer, it wasn't my fault. Blame technology.'

"It just doesn't crackle like the one on Netflix."

"He doesn't have to worry about his preschool placement - he interviews well."

'We're looking for a wifi hotspot.'

"I'm pretty sure there's a Starbucks on the other side of that big rock."

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

"Meaning of life!!" "Meaning of 'Game of Thrones' series finale"

"The selfie of Dorian Gray"

"O.K., but let's say you have up to six hundred intruders per minute."

"Hello, police? I'd like to report some suspicious activity. A youth without a phone in his hand."

"The public's taste in entertainment has certainly changed."

"In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen episodes."

Rocket charmer.

'Everyone's depressed after income tax week, Cathy.'