Modern Life Debaters Gifts

Destinations

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

Changing Minds

The Evolution Of Man.

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

Early Man Late Man

Daily Routine

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

Truth

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

Our Troubled Chowders

"No way! You're a telemarketer?! This is so great – hold on, I want to get comfortable ... how did you get my number?"

"The doctor wants you to point to where it hurts."

'I was texting when my pop spilled on my laptop, which made me drop my iPod. So you see, officer, it wasn't my fault. Blame technology.'

Bowther, Wilkin, Lynch & Fisk

"It just doesn't crackle like the one on Netflix."

"I'm pretty sure there's a Starbucks on the other side of that big rock."

"He doesn't have to worry about his preschool placement - he interviews well."

"Meaning of life!!" "Meaning of 'Game of Thrones' series finale"

'We're looking for a wifi hotspot.'

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

Man calling Phone Privacy Centre

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

"The public's taste in entertainment has certainly changed."

'David, I want you tested for steroids.'