Modern Life Commentator Gifts

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

"One more - Billy wasn't crying."

Bob's revelation that the key to putting things in proper perspective is timing...

'I was texting when my pop spilled on my laptop, which made me drop my iPod. So you see, officer, it wasn't my fault. Blame technology.'

The Dying Art of Storytelling

"It's O.K., he's on a break."

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

"Would you like to take your old face?"

"We notice you don't have a phone, tablet or laptop. We don't encourage that type of anti-social behaviour here."

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

"The public's taste in entertainment has certainly changed."

"Well done, doctor. I've never seen a phone removed from a hand so skillfully before."

'Why in the world do you keep tapping that rock with your thumb?'

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

'I'd feel more comfortable if you could read a commercial every few minutes.'

'Everyone's depressed after income tax week, Cathy.'

Failed Ebay trader. I accept PayPal.

'Ralph needed more direction in his life. He left me for his GPS.'

The anti-social network: 'Daddy's on the phone...he wants to know if you'd like to be the chosen one.'

A man using a large tablet.

'When does the commercial come on?'

'My summer vacation viewing, by Edward Ramsey.'

'I'm feeling nostalgic, son, thinking of the days when you could tell the back from the front on a pair of underpants.'

"It just doesn't crackle like the one on Netflix."

"After years of unsuccessfully trying to catch my tail, I decided to just follow it on twitter."

"Shipping presents is great, but I miss the milk and cookies."

Selfie With Falling Man

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

"Being wretched keeps me grounded."

"Before they're slaughtered, each one gets an achievement award."

"Unfortunately, your plan covers only doctors who couldn't possibly help you in any way."

Stranded Man Tries To Win Boat Back