Modern Life Commentator Gifts

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

"One more - Billy wasn't crying."

Bob's revelation that the key to putting things in proper perspective is timing...

'I was texting when my pop spilled on my laptop, which made me drop my iPod. So you see, officer, it wasn't my fault. Blame technology.'

The Dying Art of Storytelling

"It's O.K., he's on a break."

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

"Would you like to take your old face?"

"We notice you don't have a phone, tablet or laptop. We don't encourage that type of anti-social behaviour here."

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

"The public's taste in entertainment has certainly changed."

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

'Everyone's depressed after income tax week, Cathy.'

Failed Ebay trader. I accept PayPal.

'Ralph needed more direction in his life. He left me for his GPS.'

The anti-social network: 'Daddy's on the phone...he wants to know if you'd like to be the chosen one.'

A man using a large tablet.

'When does the commercial come on?'

'My summer vacation viewing, by Edward Ramsey.'

'I'm feeling nostalgic, son, thinking of the days when you could tell the back from the front on a pair of underpants.'

"It just doesn't crackle like the one on Netflix."

"Shipping presents is great, but I miss the milk and cookies."

Selfie With Falling Man

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

"Being wretched keeps me grounded."

"Before they're slaughtered, each one gets an achievement award."

"Unfortunately, your plan covers only doctors who couldn't possibly help you in any way."

Stranded Man Tries To Win Boat Back

"What do you do to manage the stress?"

Back in 5 Mins

"No talking back to the recorded seat-belt message."

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

Our Troubled Chowders

'We're looking for a wifi hotspot.'