Modern Lawman Gifts

'I lost Bart's trail, but I'm still following him on twitter.'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

Campaign for Plain English

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

Changing Minds

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

Wal-Mart Ruling

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

This Is What Moral Corruption Looks Like

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

'Might I caution you on suing the defendant for damages...such action is fraught with difficulty, given your 'hand-me-down' status in his family!!'

"Before we made the leap to cyberspace, our stockholders made us promise we'd maintain a traditional street presence, too!"

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

Atty.-Gen. Sessions reveals new law enforcement strategies to deal with opioid epidemic.

"It says here an increasing number of Brits blog and tweet in Afrikaans. Why?"

"Oh, say you can't see, any conflicts of interest in me! What's good for my brand, is now the law of the land! And the crooked media's nasty glare, my killer tweets bursting in air... Gave proof to the news cycle, that I'm so awesome it's almost unfair!..

I am billing, therefore I am.

'I don't believe in pressuring my children. When the time is right, they'll arrive at the default choice and go to law school.'

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

Who blames who in health Insurance problems

'Whenever I want to cut my lesson short, I ask the music teacher if she has any hip-hop music for the violin.'

Monks sitting at a row of computers typing up old-fashioned looking manuscripts.

When he was between Executive Assistants, filing became a challenge for Jonathan.

STRIP Hambone: Computer an accessory to computer fraud

The annual running of the lawyers.