Modern Knights Pillows

"I'm sorry, my therapist told me to give up slaying dragons."

Honour Being Served 'Apps at Dawn'.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

Swiss army knife

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"Who ordered a pizza?"

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"I was hoping you'd consider this a prelude to a kiss."

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'Yes, I wanted a knight in shining armour, but I didn't know it'd be me doing all the shining!'

Beware of the Dragon

'The king wants a gesture, not a jester.'

Toastquest!

'All I'm saying is; This maiden I'm here to rescue had better be really good looking!'

Castle drawbridge opens to reveal a dishwasher

My horse for a kingdom.

"It's off the rack. The guy on the rack doesn't need it anymore."