Novice Knight Pillows

'Do you have to advertise the fact I'm new at the game?'

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

Swiss army knife

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

Super Student

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

"Who ordered a pizza?"

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

'The knights are drawing closer'

"Take the picture, dam it, take the picture!"

I love being right.

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

Honour Being Served 'Apps at Dawn'.

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

Don Quichotte

"I'm sorry, my therapist told me to give up slaying dragons."

Don Quilowatte

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

'Yes, I wanted a knight in shining armour, but I didn't know it'd be me doing all the shining!'

The Tennis Racket in the Stone

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

"My lord, Sir Arthur is pleased to bid thee welcome to his food court."

'No fax paper? Ok, you'll have to ride for help.'

"They sent their geeks! Drop your swords and grab your computers! It's a cyber attack!"

"Hasn't this been the best first hundred days ever?"

Knight Vision