Novice Knight Gifts

'Do you have to advertise the fact I'm new at the game?'

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

Swiss army knife

Super Student

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."

"Who ordered a pizza?"

"Yes, I'm sure. The dragon I saw was quite a bit bigger."

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

The Predictable Demise of Sir Textalot.

'The knights are drawing closer'

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

"Take the picture, dam it, take the picture!"

I love being right.

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

Don Quichotte

Honour Being Served 'Apps at Dawn'.

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

"I'm sorry, my therapist told me to give up slaying dragons."

Don Quilowatte

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

'Yes, I wanted a knight in shining armour, but I didn't know it'd be me doing all the shining!'

Inside voice!

They're souvenir magnets from all the places we've done battle.

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

Yeah, that's mine - My mom puts my name inside my helmet in case it comes off.

The Tennis Racket in the Stone

"My lord, Sir Arthur is pleased to bid thee welcome to his food court."

The Man of La Mancha,and his sidekick, the Man of La Muncha.

'No fax paper? Ok, you'll have to ride for help.'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Knight and dragon

Knight