Amateur Knight Gifts

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Knight Golfing

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

Knights of the bedside table.

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'Frank, when was the last time you cleaned your gun?'

"Take the picture, dam it, take the picture!"

'The knights are drawing closer'

Sir Jasper Murgatroyd

Knights Wing Mirrors.

"We'll settle this the old-fashioned way - with a dance-off."

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

Honour Being Served 'Apps at Dawn'.

Don Quichotte

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

Don Quilowatte

"I'm sorry, my therapist told me to give up slaying dragons."

'Yes, I wanted a knight in shining armour, but I didn't know it'd be me doing all the shining!'

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

'My kingdom for a horse! Are you nuts? How about high yielding mutual funds?'

Unicorn Joust

Yeah, that's mine - My mom puts my name inside my helmet in case it comes off.

"Mom, this isn't what I meant when I said I wanted to be Iron Man for Halloween."

"My lord, Sir Arthur is pleased to bid thee welcome to his food court."

Inside voice!

They're souvenir magnets from all the places we've done battle.

'Wait! Better give me the big one.'

The Man of La Mancha,and his sidekick, the Man of La Muncha.

'No fax paper? Ok, you'll have to ride for help.'

I think he's a bit OCD. He checked my chastity belt is locked, six times!

"Let's make the bill easy and just split it."

'Avoid the fat, chewy ones. They'll pull the fillings right out of your head!'

'And we're just a stone's throw from the beach.'