Amateur Knight Gifts

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Knight Golfing

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

Knights of the bedside table.

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'Frank, when was the last time you cleaned your gun?'

"Take the picture, dam it, take the picture!"

Sir Jasper Murgatroyd

'The knights are drawing closer'

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

Don Quichotte

Knights Wing Mirrors.

Honour Being Served 'Apps at Dawn'.

"We'll settle this the old-fashioned way - with a dance-off."

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

"I'm sorry, my therapist told me to give up slaying dragons."

Don Quilowatte

'Yes, I wanted a knight in shining armour, but I didn't know it'd be me doing all the shining!'

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

Unicorn Joust

"My lord, Sir Arthur is pleased to bid thee welcome to his food court."

'My kingdom for a horse! Are you nuts? How about high yielding mutual funds?'

'Wait! Better give me the big one.'

I think he's a bit OCD. He checked my chastity belt is locked, six times!

'No fax paper? Ok, you'll have to ride for help.'

"Hasn't this been the best first hundred days ever?"

"They sent their geeks! Drop your swords and grab your computers! It's a cyber attack!"

'And we're just a stone's throw from the beach.'

Knight Vision