Knight Enthusiast Gifts

Medieval Social Distancing

'Look, if this fails we'll still have to do business with them, so try to be subtle about it.'

"Why did you become a crusader? You don't even go to church."

Don Quilowatte

'Miss Wilson, please send in the dragon.'

'This ought to teach them a lesson.'

'We didn't recruit him. He's a walk-on!'

A medieval knight eats his lunch with armored lunch gear.

Anger Management Training

'But then he couldn't call himself the Terrible Knight.'

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Darn, I wore the wrong suit."

'King Arthur's Court? I think it's that way. This is King Arthur's Boulevard.'

'It's the Vikings, sire! They've obtained the technology to build pitching machines!'

'I was just thinking about the good old days... You know, before road salt!'

"This year, I'm ready."

'Can we postpone this? I'm out of lighter fluid.'

"Didn't anybody tell you, Walter? You can't change the past."

Don Quichotte

"Some knights just aren't dragon people."

Don Quichotte Target Practice

Knight Vision

'All right, Lancelot — Have you got a woman in there?'

'...Sir Rupert died trying to conquer a lady of the night.'

"We've got to change our lifestyle. Eating all this tinned crap can't be good for us!"

You Legend!

Knight with a tap in his armour.

'We're taking robust action. We're NOT saying knife crime is cool.'

'Avoid the fat, chewy ones. They'll pull the fillings right out of your head!'

Don Quichotte

Man at museum. See's a suit of armour labelled 'Made in Japan'.

"Do you know a good taxidermist?"

"Take the picture, dam it, take the picture!"

"Well, I'm sort of between quests at the moment."

"My lord, Sir Arthur is pleased to bid thee welcome to his food court."