Knight Aficionado Gifts

'You know this is my first battle.' - 'Really? Mine too.'

"You're probably hot and I've gone on too long so I'll end with a story of the great pestilence."

Crusaders - The odd one out

Knight Golfing

'I like a man in a suit.'

Man at museum. See's a suit of armour labelled 'Made in Japan'.

'Honey, do you think you could try being a little less over-protective?'

I think he's a bit OCD. He checked my chastity belt is locked, six times!

Knights of the Allergy Table

'Nice to have a door opener.'

Lord Chandler's personal problems had spread to the battlefield.

'My kingdom for a horse! Are you nuts? How about high yielding mutual funds?'

'Canned? -- couldn't you find a fresh one?'

"I would venture to say it's the best thing since that contraption we use to crank up a draw bridge."

"Methinks this breastplate doth make me look fat."

"Well done, please."

Sir Jasper Murgatroyd

Jousting: Lance-O-Lot Mobile Sharpener

'Let's agree to disagree...'

"I'm sorry, this is all very embarrassing but we've decided to open a pub together."

'And we're just a stone's throw from the beach.'

Knights Wing Mirrors.

'Hey, I like the new away strip.'

'I'm not a philistine. I'm well bred!'

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

"Mom, this isn't what I meant when I said I wanted to be Iron Man for Halloween."

'Don't rescue me tonight- I have a headache.'

"We like to make a big deal out of someone achieving partnership here."

Don Quixote releases the Galley Slaves.

"Let's not go to bed angry."

"We'll settle this the old-fashioned way - with a dance-off."

You're right! The paper sleeve really keeps it from burning your fingers.

Unicorn Joust

"Let's make the bill easy and just split it."

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."