Modern Knight Pillows

Airport Joust.

"I call it the AK-1."

"They sent their geeks! Drop your swords and grab your computers! It's a cyber attack!"

The sword or the briefcase in the stone

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"I've diligently spent the last eight hours saving an entire colony of elves from a pack of vicious dragons and your only concern is that it is 2 am?"

"I was hoping you'd consider this a prelude to a kiss."

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

Honour Being Served 'Apps at Dawn'.

"I'm sorry, my therapist told me to give up slaying dragons."

Beware of the Dragon

'Yes, I wanted a knight in shining armour, but I didn't know it'd be me doing all the shining!'

Toastquest!

'All I'm saying is; This maiden I'm here to rescue had better be really good looking!'

'The king wants a gesture, not a jester.'

Castle drawbridge opens to reveal a dishwasher

My horse for a kingdom.

"It's off the rack. The guy on the rack doesn't need it anymore."

'No fax paper? Ok, you'll have to ride for help.'

'Don't underestimate the pot holes...they've saved us from invasion more than once.'

'You killed it, you clean it.'

'Your task will be to save the castle from catapulted rocks.'

"Why can't you bring me a rodent like a normal cat?"