Knights Pillows

Escalator joust.

"Why is humor your only defense mechanism?"

Honey, do you think you could try being a little less over-protective?

'I can't undo anything - I've forgot my toolbox!'

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

'Size matters!'

A dragon has eaten my knight, please help.

'...Sir Rupert died trying to conquer a lady of the night.'

'I wish I had a horse.'

"There goes your knighthood."

"He assumed the crown at a very young age."

Lohengrin

'faster!'

Damned Garage Door Openers.

Another beautiful frock ruined!

'I can't remember for the life of me why I came upstairs.'

Knight

"Where should we hold this confrontation then?"

My name is Sir Render!!

'Here, will you give me an early morning wake up call?'

'Look at this baby, just in from Italy. You'll have to fight off the chicks, Man.'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Knight and dragon

The Children's Crusade - 'You give the boys cooties, we'll give the girls cooties - we're back in a week.'

"Who ordered a pizza?"

Knight painting with plume from helmet.

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

'I wasn't so keen on the knight, but I kept the shining armour.'

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'This is no sport for a little guy!'

Man at museum. See's a suit of armour labelled 'Made in Japan'.

"Wait...you want paid for your services? I thought you were a free-lancer."

"There's been a change in plans. Instead of Abilene, we're going to Camelot."

Damsel NOT in distress.

Swiss army knife

'Can we postpone this? I'm out of lighter fluid.'