Narrative Knights Pillows

"This isn't how the story went at all."

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Swiss army knife

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

Joust Sharpener

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

underwater knight

"Who ordered a pizza?"

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

"There isn't a siege. We're all in line for the bouncy castle."

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"I was hoping you'd consider this a prelude to a kiss."

Honour Being Served 'Apps at Dawn'.

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

"I'm sorry, my therapist told me to give up slaying dragons."

Beware of the Dragon

"I hear it's because we're right and they're wrong."

'Yes, I wanted a knight in shining armour, but I didn't know it'd be me doing all the shining!'