Modern Family Visionary Gifts

"Joe and I had 409, 371 children but we never married."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Right here is your baby’s infrastructure, and in a month or so we’ll be able to see the analytics."

"I couldn't find the phone charger, but I was able to locate all the mouses the kids lost over the years."

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

'Hi, honey?we're home!'

"I was raised in New York and Nancy is from L.A., but we're bringing up the children bicoastal."

"Don't take it personally, Dad, but if I need advice, I'll ask my phone...it's a lot smarter than you are!"

'Look, dear. Our printer's first words.'

'Until I met your Mom, yes.'

"It's amazing how much he's like one of his dads."

"We're having a problem naming him. All the domain names we like are already taken!"

"Don't forget to come back."

"My daughter is a modern baby. She doesn't cry when she is hungry...she texts me."

"Yes, we're very fortunate to be blessed with one of each."

'You can't tell me what to do! You're not my 'ruler'! Heck, you're not even my real dad!'

'In my day we called it 'parenting', not 'troubleshooting your kid'.'

'Your wife gets custody of the children, and you get custody of the babysitter.'

'I'm sorry, Jerome. Instead of marriage and having kids, I've decided just to have myself cloned.'

"Let's review cause and effect. Your divorce 10 years ago can't affect your son's zero today."

'Yup! Lots to give, not much to lose!'

'Mom, Kevin just asked me to live with him!'

"Now that we've got a new bull, is he the calve's stepfather?"

"I get the new phone, Timmy gets my phone, Annie gets his phone, Bobby gets her phone and you get his phone, dad, and you get to pay for it all."

"Son, I think it's about time we had the TED Talk."

'No, the woman of the house is at work. May I help you?'

'Guess what, Mom - Suzie and I just found out that we have the same ex-Dad!'

"We're all together watching television, but we're not all watching television together."

"You just wait until your other mother gets home, young man!"

Technology has changed a lot of things, including how kids run away from home.

'Okay, my stepfather, but do I need to honour my dad's 3rd wife? They were only married 90 days.'