Modern Family Planning Gifts

IVF treatment

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

Grounded

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

"We balanced our budget this month!"

New arrival

"Congratulations. The ultrasound shows the baby is healthy, a boy and already knows more about technology than you."

The Tunnel Of Love

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

"Can you hurry up with the cake? I have to travel the world, have a career and start a family"

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

'Of course if you wanna a really BIG family I guess we could always adopt.'

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

"Keep my fingers crossed! Is that it?"

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

Preventive medicine.

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"This could be quite boring. No club jumper, no theme song and no pie nights!"

'OK...now what?'

'A baby brother? — I'm not ready to make a commitment like that!'

'Then, after a while, the pitter patter of tiny running shoes.'

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

Lesbians for Christ

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

'It's not that I don't want more kids Victoria, I'm worried I won't have enough skin for their names.'

"I changed my mind – no more kids."

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

Pregnancy Test

Family planning - 'I was thinking something low maintenance.'