Family Planning Futurist Gifts

BIRTH CONTROL CLINIC, 'It's for nuclear family non-proliferation.'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"Right here is your baby’s infrastructure, and in a month or so we’ll be able to see the analytics."

"We balanced our budget this month!"

New arrival

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

"Congratulations. The ultrasound shows the baby is healthy, a boy and already knows more about technology than you."

The Tunnel Of Love

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

'When I grow up I want to join the SWAT team!'

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

"When Ed suggested 5 potato, 6 potato, 7 potato more, I suggested a vasectomy."

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

'I hope you don't mind me bringing a few medical students in to see you. '

"Keep my fingers crossed! Is that it?"

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

Preventive medicine.

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

'Then, after a while, the pitter patter of tiny running shoes.'

'OK...now what?'

"I'm looking forward to the next thirty five years of her living with us."

"This could be quite boring. No club jumper, no theme song and no pie nights!"

Lesbians for Christ

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

'It's not that I don't want more kids Victoria, I'm worried I won't have enough skin for their names.'

Pregnancy Test