Family Planning Futurist Gifts

BIRTH CONTROL CLINIC, 'It's for nuclear family non-proliferation.'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

The Tunnel Of Love

New arrival

"We balanced our budget this month!"

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

"Congratulations. The ultrasound shows the baby is healthy, a boy and already knows more about technology than you."

"Right here is your baby’s infrastructure, and in a month or so we’ll be able to see the analytics."

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

'When I grow up I want to join the SWAT team!'

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

"When Ed suggested 5 potato, 6 potato, 7 potato more, I suggested a vasectomy."

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

'I hope you don't mind me bringing a few medical students in to see you. '

"Keep my fingers crossed! Is that it?"

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

Preventive medicine.

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

Lesbians for Christ

'Then, after a while, the pitter patter of tiny running shoes.'

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

'OK...now what?'

"This could be quite boring. No club jumper, no theme song and no pie nights!"

"I'm looking forward to the next thirty five years of her living with us."

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

"We can determine your child's gender, IQ and student debt load."