Family Planning Gifts

'But I take the pill everytime I become pregnant, and it doesn't help.'

Natural Birth Control.

'On the contrary, I think this is the BEST time to talk about life insurance.'

'I'm just working out the best time to take paternity leave.'

"#$%& fertility drugs!"

"Keep my fingers crossed! Is that it?"

Safe sex.

"Don't knock over the frozen embryos."

"I was under the impression that the sex we were having was recreational!"

'Diet patch, stop-smoking patch, birth control patch...'

"We'd like the child to arrive in December so taking into account my wifes' ovulation patterns and our opportunities for intercourse we'd like her first check-up booked for next June"

'I've made our family emergency disaster plan. In the event your family visits, I evacuate!'

'Let's use another form of birth control. I don't like the coil.'

"Sometimes I wonder if it's right to bring a child into this income."

"Quentin - I'm having a baby." "I'm just having a buttered roll."

'We'd like to know the identity of the anonymous egg donor.'

'We will fill in that space after we hear what you have in mind for summer vacation!'

Family Planning: Contraceptives Should Be Used On Every Conceivable Occasion!

Preventive medicine.

Planned Parenthood: 'What do you mean, you want an unexpected pregnancy leave?'

'Fifty per cent of all marriages fail, Nicole...before you get too serious you have to ask yourself...is this the man I want my children to spend weekends with?'

"Everyone's waiting to have babies, so I had to pick up a side gig."

Children.

"Pregnant again? I thought we were supposed to be wise!!"

MD to pregnant woman: 'You don't become immune after one child.'

Baby gift

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

'They're not reliable.'

'Someday, if you're not careful, this could all be yours.'

"Hey- truce? It looks like I might be fertile!"

'Now can we start a family Nigel?'

'It's not that I don't want more kids Victoria, I'm worried I won't have enough skin for their names.'

"I'm not sure about children, but I've always wanted progeny."