Considering Family Planning Gifts

BIRTH CONTROL CLINIC, 'It's for nuclear family non-proliferation.'

Take the time to do something nice for yourself. Your kids will thank you. That is, if you ever decide to have them.

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"We balanced our budget this month!"

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

New arrival

The Tunnel Of Love

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

"Can you hurry up with the cake? I have to travel the world, have a career and start a family"

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

"Keep my fingers crossed! Is that it?"

Preventive medicine.

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

"You need to stop pressing the snooze button on your biological clock."

Lesbians for Christ

'OK...now what?'

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

'I told her my biological clock was going off, and she hit my snooze alarm.'

Biological Alarm Clock.

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

Pregnancy Test

Family planning - 'I was thinking something low maintenance.'

"I changed my mind – no more kids."

'I'm pregnant, the dog and cat arepregnant,even the gold fish is pregnant - it beats me how you ever became a family planning counsellor...'

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

'Did you remember to bring a specimen?'

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

"Sir, the platoon suffered heavy casualties from a roadside IUD."

Children.

'Normally I'd be strongly opposed to a womanh your age electing a permanent birth control option...but in your case-'

'Now can we start a family Nigel?'