Considering Family Planning Gifts

BIRTH CONTROL CLINIC, 'It's for nuclear family non-proliferation.'

Take the time to do something nice for yourself. Your kids will thank you. That is, if you ever decide to have them.

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"We balanced our budget this month!"

New arrival

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

The Tunnel Of Love

"Can you hurry up with the cake? I have to travel the world, have a career and start a family"

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

"Keep my fingers crossed! Is that it?"

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

Preventive medicine.

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

'I told her my biological clock was going off, and she hit my snooze alarm.'

'OK...now what?'

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

Biological Alarm Clock.

Lesbians for Christ

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

"You need to stop pressing the snooze button on your biological clock."

'It's not that I don't want more kids Victoria, I'm worried I won't have enough skin for their names.'

'Did you remember to bring a specimen?'

Family planning - 'I was thinking something low maintenance.'

'I'm pregnant, the dog and cat arepregnant,even the gold fish is pregnant - it beats me how you ever became a family planning counsellor...'

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

Pregnancy Test

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

"I changed my mind – no more kids."

"Sir, the platoon suffered heavy casualties from a roadside IUD."

Children.

'Now can we start a family Nigel?'