Family Planning Discussion Gifts

"I'm not sure about children, but I've always wanted progeny."

"Michael, you can’t be a ‘stay-at-home dad’ if we don’t have children!"

"We should decide now whose career will suffer more once I give birth."

'You should have used contraceptives -- I'm afraid your lucky socks didn't work.'

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

The Tunnel Of Love

New arrival

"We balanced our budget this month!"

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

"Can you hurry up with the cake? I have to travel the world, have a career and start a family"

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

"Keep my fingers crossed! Is that it?"

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

Preventive medicine.

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

'OK...now what?'

'I told her my biological clock was going off, and she hit my snooze alarm.'

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

Lesbians for Christ

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

'It's not that I don't want more kids Victoria, I'm worried I won't have enough skin for their names.'

Pregnancy Test

"...some of these tadpoles may not be yours."

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

"I changed my mind – no more kids."

'I'm pregnant, the dog and cat arepregnant,even the gold fish is pregnant - it beats me how you ever became a family planning counsellor...'

'Did you remember to bring a specimen?'

Family planning - 'I was thinking something low maintenance.'

'No, you can't turn your vegetables into bio-fuel.'