Family Planning Discussion Pillows

"I'm not sure about children, but I've always wanted progeny."

"Michael, you can’t be a ‘stay-at-home dad’ if we don’t have children!"

"We should decide now whose career will suffer more once I give birth."

'You should have used contraceptives -- I'm afraid your lucky socks didn't work.'

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

The Tunnel Of Love

"We balanced our budget this month!"

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

New arrival

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

"Can you hurry up with the cake? I have to travel the world, have a career and start a family"

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

"Keep my fingers crossed! Is that it?"

Preventive medicine.

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

'I told her my biological clock was going off, and she hit my snooze alarm.'

Lesbians for Christ

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

'OK...now what?'

"...some of these tadpoles may not be yours."

'Did you remember to bring a specimen?'

"I changed my mind – no more kids."

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

Family planning - 'I was thinking something low maintenance.'

Pregnancy Test

'I'm pregnant, the dog and cat arepregnant,even the gold fish is pregnant - it beats me how you ever became a family planning counsellor...'

'No, you can't turn your vegetables into bio-fuel.'

"Sir, the platoon suffered heavy casualties from a roadside IUD."