Family Planning Decision Pillows

"With the world such a crazy mess, Condy and I decided we don't want children."

Tunnel of Vasectomy

"I wan't my tubes tied."

Take the time to do something nice for yourself. Your kids will thank you. That is, if you ever decide to have them.

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

"We balanced our budget this month!"

The Tunnel Of Love

New arrival

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

"Can you hurry up with the cake? I have to travel the world, have a career and start a family"

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

"Keep my fingers crossed! Is that it?"

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

Preventive medicine.

'OK...now what?'

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

Lesbians for Christ

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

'I'm pregnant, the dog and cat arepregnant,even the gold fish is pregnant - it beats me how you ever became a family planning counsellor...'

'Did you remember to bring a specimen?'

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

Pregnancy Test

"I changed my mind – no more kids."

Family planning - 'I was thinking something low maintenance.'

"Sir, the platoon suffered heavy casualties from a roadside IUD."

Children.

'Now can we start a family Nigel?'

'Normally I'd be strongly opposed to a womanh your age electing a permanent birth control option...but in your case-'

"Life’s become pretty easy lately. Perhaps it’s time we shake things up by adding a dependent."