Family Planning Discussions Pillows

"Keep my fingers crossed! Is that it?"

"I won't have kids until gay men are able to give birth in every state."

"They stop her going on about us starting a family!"

'You should have used contraceptives -- I'm afraid your lucky socks didn't work.'

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

The Tunnel Of Love

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

New arrival

"We balanced our budget this month!"

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

"Can you hurry up with the cake? I have to travel the world, have a career and start a family"

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

Preventive medicine.

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

'I told her my biological clock was going off, and she hit my snooze alarm.'

Lesbians for Christ

'OK...now what?'

'It's not that I don't want more kids Victoria, I'm worried I won't have enough skin for their names.'

Pregnancy Test

"I changed my mind – no more kids."

Family planning - 'I was thinking something low maintenance.'

'I'm pregnant, the dog and cat arepregnant,even the gold fish is pregnant - it beats me how you ever became a family planning counsellor...'

'Did you remember to bring a specimen?'

"...some of these tadpoles may not be yours."

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

"Sir, the platoon suffered heavy casualties from a roadside IUD."

'No, you can't turn your vegetables into bio-fuel.'