Family Planning Journey Gifts

"Don't knock over the frozen embryos."

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"We balanced our budget this month!"

The Tunnel Of Love

New arrival

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

"Can you hurry up with the cake? I have to travel the world, have a career and start a family"

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

"Keep my fingers crossed! Is that it?"

Preventive medicine.

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

'OK...now what?'

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

Lesbians for Christ

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

'It's not that I don't want more kids Victoria, I'm worried I won't have enough skin for their names.'

Family planning - 'I was thinking something low maintenance.'

'I'm pregnant, the dog and cat arepregnant,even the gold fish is pregnant - it beats me how you ever became a family planning counsellor...'

'Did you remember to bring a specimen?'

Pregnancy Test

"I changed my mind – no more kids."

"Sir, the platoon suffered heavy casualties from a roadside IUD."

Children.

Fertility Clinic

'Normally I'd be strongly opposed to a womanh your age electing a permanent birth control option...but in your case-'

'Now can we start a family Nigel?'

'You should have used contraceptives -- I'm afraid your lucky socks didn't work.'

'And for Pete's sake, let's cut out out all this artificial insemination.'

Biological alarm clock!