Modern Family Planning Mugs

IVF treatment

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

Grounded

"We balanced our budget this month!"

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

New arrival

The Tunnel Of Love

"Congratulations. The ultrasound shows the baby is healthy, a boy and already knows more about technology than you."

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

"Can you hurry up with the cake? I have to travel the world, have a career and start a family"

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

'Of course if you wanna a really BIG family I guess we could always adopt.'

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

"Keep my fingers crossed! Is that it?"

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

Preventive medicine.

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

'A baby brother? — I'm not ready to make a commitment like that!'

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

'Then, after a while, the pitter patter of tiny running shoes.'

"This could be quite boring. No club jumper, no theme song and no pie nights!"

'OK...now what?'

Lesbians for Christ

Family planning - 'I was thinking something low maintenance.'

Pregnancy Test

'I'm pregnant, the dog and cat arepregnant,even the gold fish is pregnant - it beats me how you ever became a family planning counsellor...'

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

'Did you remember to bring a specimen?'