Modern Family Humor Lover Pillows

"It`s not all bad, Dad. The picture I took has already got three likes."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Suffering from Cooties?

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

Dad Trophies

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

"So kids, you got work from your teachers right?"

"I told my mom either the sitter goes, or I go!"

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

"Remember this about new babysitters - making rules and enforcing them are two different things.".

Baby cries into a cellphone.

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

"But you said I should serve our guests the can of peas!"

"But Mom, you said it was a pup tent!"

God bless our home equity line of credit.

"Okay, just one story. Once upon a time, there was a naughty little boy who wouldn't go to sleep."

"Young man, you go march your butt right back up those stairs and don't come down until you've made yourself look presentable!"

'I want you to bring me one.'

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

'Here's what she was reading - an articl called 'Parents can be fun'.'

'I take a cold shower every morning... right after my daughters have taken hot ones.'

"Bah! in my day bands knew how to play their computers properly. Like Kraftwerk"

'Our computer responds to voice commands, but our kids don't.'

Spider boy