Modern Family Humor Lover Gifts

"It's the addition for our family room."

"It`s not all bad, Dad. The picture I took has already got three likes."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

Suffering from Cooties?

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

Dad Trophies

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

"So kids, you got work from your teachers right?"

"I told my mom either the sitter goes, or I go!"

'I want you to bring me one.'

God bless our home equity line of credit.

"But you said I should serve our guests the can of peas!"

Great job on the color! Thanks. It looks totally natural. Hi, Twig! Hey. Success! She didn't notice. "Mom dyed her hair with Gatorade."

Baby cries into a cellphone.

"Remember this about new babysitters - making rules and enforcing them are two different things.".

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

"But Mom, you said it was a pup tent!"

"Young man, you go march your butt right back up those stairs and don't come down until you've made yourself look presentable!"

"Okay, just one story. Once upon a time, there was a naughty little boy who wouldn't go to sleep."

'Here's what she was reading - an articl called 'Parents can be fun'.'

"Bah! in my day bands knew how to play their computers properly. Like Kraftwerk"

'I take a cold shower every morning... right after my daughters have taken hot ones.'