Modern Elder Medicine Gifts

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

Handle With Care

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

"Careful."

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

Current location

"Thanks to modern medicine, we now have drugs to make any season the season to be jolly."

My Mother Was Absolutely Certain She Would Not Succumb to Alzheimer's. She Was Wrong.

'Do you want the pill, the suppository, the patch, or the app?'

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

'Take two tokes of weed, Mrs Grunfield, and call me in the morning.'

"Sorry -- The doctor is out -- But we have like 10 influencers available."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

"I think you need to enroll yourself in a good two-step program."

Caution Student Driver.

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

'When you get older everything hurts... and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

How to save money on geriatric care?

"It's the orthopedist's parts department. Your knees are in."

"Take two aspirin and text me in the morning."

Care Home Eject Button.

"My butt is loose!"

I'm not sure when I can help you. It's not easy getting parts for you anymore

"Nurse, could you please click Ok?"

'Here's my DNA sequence.'

"Would you like to make a contribution to the old folks home?" "Sure, when can I bring him in?"

'Try and stay alive until the government have finished their consultation process.'

"I'm a doctor, I'm allowed to google it."