Modern Distraction Critic Pillows

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

"That newspaper has been showing up ever since you started reading the news online. I think it feels betrayed."

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

"You think you have problems? My entire wing command was just destroyed."

"It's a mixed-use facility: retail space, low-rent housing, luxury apartments, and an area set aside for making steel."

Early Man Late Man

Daily Routine

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

"Congratulations on your entertaining presentation skills Smith, and the way they hide your dismal sales figures!"

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

Man calling Phone Privacy Centre

"I reached Level Three of Super Mario Brothers!"

Clever youth stating that he considers Shakespeare overrated

Procrastinator's Leap.

Medical Bracelet

"I medicate first and ask questions later."

A beach has meters.

"Have you noticed how blatant sex is everywhere in the culture but here?"

'While Dewey distracts the defense, the quarterback simply jogs into the end zone untouched.'

"I believe this will be an adequate busy look."

"This isn't really helping."

'Will this job requirer me to look up from my phone?'

"Power! Power!"

Kingdom of Heaven- Exact Change Only

"I forgot to call in dead."

"Look, a shooting star- let's critique it!"

"I have to take it back to the shop and throw it away."

Escalator Diving Board

'You go ahead. We'll rejoin you when you start using new technology.'