Modern Decorator Gifts

"Sorry Rudolph, I got some new LED lights..."

"You idiot! It's all bare walls and Ikea these days."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Painting by the numbers for adults

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Painting the Ceiling

Use your imagination.

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

"You're welcome."

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

"Too bright."

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

Unfinished Funiture Store.

New Coat of Paint at the Sistine Condos

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."