Minimalist Decorator Gifts

Bare Christmas tree.

Futons/Futoffs

'I keep everything behind the sofa cushions.'

'I hired a decorator.'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Painting the Ceiling

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

Shelter Cat Nap

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

"Not to mention the park view."

Face Painting.

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

"I'm starting to think stripes."

'The roof needs icing.'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

Japanese woman in minimalist house reads 'How to Clutter Your Life'

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

Redecorating Easter Island.

'Quick, press control Z!'

'I wanted a change in decor.'

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation