Minimalist Decor Fan Gifts

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

"We're airship people, not mega-airship people."

'I WANTED to paint the room a shade of green, but gave up somewhere between chartreuse and citrine.'

A skinny dog drawn with zen brush.

'I love what you've not done with the place.'

'It's that damned gnome that attracts them!'

Futons/Futoffs

'That was nice of them to order us a new scratching post!'

"I tidied away all the cushions and stuffed toy animals. It appears we never had a bed."

"Does it come with magnets?"

"I finally figured out what was causing my backache. You know that fancy modern office furniture I ordered a few weeks back? I just realized. I've been sitting on the wastebasket."

Smaller shoe being built onto a shoe house.

"The current owners removed a number of walls and used soft, neutral tones to create a very spacious, open concept."

Rep-Tiles.

'An occasional table... what is it the rest of the time?'

Artist with Spot Paintings for Sale

"You've taken some creative liberties, Noah."

'I hired a decorator.'

'No, I don't think you're a mental case, Mrs Clydehopper. Then again, this is a furniture store, and I'm a salesman...'

'I said he needs an ambulance! Not ambiance!'

'When I asked for something woody with a great finish, they said I should try the paneling department at Home Depot.'

'No photographs!'

"Finally we're alone."

"I don't want to sound simplistic, but I think a smaller couch with fewer throw pillows would help this marriage a lot."

"I wonder why we're not getting any new converts."

Throw Pillows. You were right, with those two we need to explicitly tell them that sight is not an instruction.

"I'll confess, the first time I realized they didn't have any panes it gave me quite a turn!"

'I keep everything behind the sofa cushions.'

Spent it all on decorator pillows.

Designer Babies - "A little distressing and this nursery would look good." - "Are you joking, minimalism is the way to go."

"Well, then, if and when you do consider moving, would you let us know?"

Ants carrying book on Feng Shui.

So this is what you meant when you said it came with its own computer furniture.

' I don't care if their ad says they stand behind every bed they sell, I want him out of here...'