Modern-day Skeptic Gifts

"That time facebook went down for a few hours isn't that big a deal. Little buddy!"

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

"God works in mysterious ways."

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

'OK, now you've seen it...'

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"Huh! Never a miracle vaccine when you want one - then three come along at the same time - bloody typical!"

'I don't think Charlie will ever get used to these auto-mobiles.'

Doing Something About the Weather

"And that was the news. . . But please feel free to go online and vent your spite, spread your conspiracy theories and promote your ill-informed opinions. . ."

Descartes's Demon

'Okay, now I'm hoping he's right...'

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

Akron, oh, you're on Ask Sadie. What's your problem?! I'm thinking of not signing up for health insurance this year. Good idea. In my day, there was no such thing as health insurance. If you got sick, you paid for it with either money or chickens. That's if you were a lily-livered coward who just had to see a doctor. When great-great-grandmother Cohen had her sixth heart attack, she just applied a poultice made of chestnut leaves and flour and kept on plowing.

Alternative Accountants

"Enjoy my first day at school? You mean there'll be others?"

"And Lord, let not thy laws apply to me, your loyal servant, but only to those miserable sinners whose souls we endeavor to save when it suits us."

'Don't believe everything you read.'

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

Expert examining painting: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid it's a fake."

"Oh yes, I've got the whole business computerised now"

Brains Prohibited sign on door to church

Atheist Richard Dawkins attacks Pope's beliefs.

Ponzi Schemes Inc

PERSONNEL, 'Your resume has everything but verisimilitude.''

"IDEOMOTOREFFECT. See! I told you."

'I'm what you can't learn at Harvard Business school.'

"How can you suggest that this university's research facilities have been co-opted by the military?"

"Our integrated approach to medicine skillfully combines an array of holistic alternative treatments with a sophisticated computerized billing service."

'He's a very good doctor, and I trust him, but I must confess that I always double check his diagnosis on Google.'