Modern-day Diner Critique Fan Gifts

"I ordered the Chicken."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

Couple sharing the plastic widget from a pizza box like a chicken's wish bone

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

You didn't text me that you met a guy! I couldn�t. There was no cell phone coverage. How awful. Diner. I'll say. What good is love � If you can't brag about it? Wow. Is that Shakespeare?

"Siri, am I ready to take a look at the dessert menu?"

Full Moon Diner

Diners sit in high chairs, wear bibs and eat baby food. Man says: 'I love this place, it's just so retro.'

Deli Special - 2 bean salad: 'We ran out of red beans.'

"Menu?? You mean you haven't downloaded our App?"

I recommend the ketchup.

Bob ordered the breakfast special of bacon with two eggs served any way he wanted.

'Why don't you stop moaning, and be grateful that mother was kind enough to invite us around for a special halloween supper!'

"Combination No. 5--no MSG."

"What kind of mod are you in? Sit Down or All You Can Eat From The Trough?"

Today's special: Roadkill stew.

Customer admires courtyard of bagel shaped restaurant.

"Here's your 'Senior Citizen Sunrise Special', Sir. And, NO! You can't have any salt!"

If you need anything else, just text me.

Man sees eatery, 'Mom's Cyber Cafe', below it reads, 'Formerly Mom's Diner'.

'Do you have anything that's not fried?'

Today's Special: Escargot Appetizer

Spacious Skies - Amber Waves of Grain - Purple Mountains - Fruited Plain - Leo's Diner

Today's 'Are You Feelin' Lucky' special is all you can eat raw oysters.

"So what exactly is wrong with the teabag? Nobody else has complained about it!"

"Our ancestors clawed their way to the top of the food chain for THIS??!"

"Darling, you're going to have to text our son to ask if he wants some potatoes."

Eat at Joe's Topless Diner.

"We take cash, credit, or you can watch our ad 92 times."

"I'm still waiting for my coffee. Has Juan Valdez left South America yet?"