Modern Cynic Gifts

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

"Taxation with representation hasn't worked out so well." (two men at the US capital talking taxes and politics)

"I'm back from Russia. Putin offered me a Dacha to say he's an honest man."

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

"Hey - let's not us re-invent wheel."

"I'm doing a Kickstopper project!" "What?" "I was going to write a book... but do we really need another book in this world? So... Kickstopper—people donate money to stop me from writing. I won't write it so I'll never ask you to read it. I'd pay money to not read your book. Thanks." "You're welcome." "I'm also starting projects to not start a band, not write poetry and not tell you about my dreams."

Obama builds own gallows.

"Diogenes, this is Washington, D.C. It's probably the worst place to look for an honest man."

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

"And in this section it appears that you have not only alienated voters but actually infected them, too."

Spark Notes Wedding Vows

"I didn't like the stamp, I didn't like the opera, and I don't like the movie."

"Oh, the usual bills and a friendly reminder from Satan that there's a special place in Hell reserved just for us, but only if we ACT NOW, blah, blah, blah."

"Would you say your politics are middle of the road?"

'Our government is comprised of three branches - politicians, lobbyists, and the media.'

Old Rope

'The following program may not be suitable for those of you who are sick and tired of politics....'

'These are fine, but what's in it for me?'

"Son, remember - its possible most politicians lie - it's the American way."

Warning! The next programme contains no celebrities.

'It's like home from home, really-rubbish telly, lousy grub..'

"Call me a cockeyed optimist, but I think we can fool all the people all the time!"

"I'd better read the official view before I form an opinion."

Mail & Political lies.

Cornucopia Prime

Politician's mask

"I prefer a politician who is deeply religious but also doesn’t take any of that nonsense seriously."