Creative Cynic Gifts

"I'd better read the official view before I form an opinion."

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

'Blair picks safe poet caureate' "He was just giong through the motions"

Obama builds own gallows.

"Hey - let's not us re-invent wheel."

Unsocial Networking.

"Just saying, if you can't trust your software upgrades, what can you trust?"

"Well, if you can't trust software upgrades, who can you trust?"

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Oh, the usual bills and a friendly reminder from Satan that there's a special place in Hell reserved just for us, but only if we ACT NOW, blah, blah, blah."

"I didn't like the stamp, I didn't like the opera, and I don't like the movie."

Defend the Cult of Militant Nonviolence!

Old Rope

If Kitschy Film Dialogues Were Really Realistic. . .

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, BOO! Did I scare you? Regards, Rick in Seattle. (Actual reader letter). Ask Sadie at asksadieshow@gmail.com. Yeah, I'm really scared. Aren't you, Rudy? Boo, Rudy! Boooooo! That, however, terrifies me. Sorry, you were saying? Some guy tweeted his breakfast menu.(This cartoon was originally published on 2014-07-07)

"Of course your data isn't really in a cloud. That's almost as silly as thinking your money is actually in this bank."

"Am I covered for the brain cell damage caused by your TV commercials?"

"...nineteen, twenty. Ready or not, here I come!"

"We interrupt this endless stream of mind-numbing adverts to bring you a TV programme..."

This is not a scam. Send money and receive authentic 'This is Not A Scam' certificate."

We value your privacy. . . . . yeah, right.

Such a Coincidence

Spaced-based Weapons We Need Today

'I like to keep up-to-date with the movies I'll be hating next year.'

'A penny for your thoughts, Bernie... of course I'll have to pay you later.'

'You know, I'll always think of the song that's on the jukebox right now as...our song. Luckily, I've always hated it.'

'Everything is illusory, but television is ESPECIALLY illusory.'

"I will never read that book, and I'm eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

'If you don't want to know the scores please exercise your distrust of the BBC now.'

"You couldn't take my son's violin, could you?"

'There's a load of rubbish on the T.V. again.'