Modern Canine Gifts

"These toys are insulting. If you want me to entertain myself, then I'll take the new iPad."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Young Frankenstein"

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Playing Fetch.

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

A Good Batch.

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"Pick me!"

"Why do they do that?"

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"He was overly socialized as a puppy."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"You go on in, I’m just going to catch up with the moon for a few minutes."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."