Canine Gifts

'Let 'em go. They're joggers. Nothing but gristle and bones.'

"I never liked dogs in any of my previous lives either."

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"Some days it's only the barking that keeps me sane."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Young Frankenstein"

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

City Zoo: Day Care

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Playing Fetch.

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Skipping Horse

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

A Good Batch.

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'Hmph. College kids.'

"Actually, make that a double cream."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'