Canine Variety Gifts

"I'm tripping over bernedoodles, labradoodles, goldendoodles, schnoodles and cockapoos, ...and you want me to somehow believe you're not sleeping around?"

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

Foster failure

"Wow. . . what's that?!"

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

Collies Without Borders

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

A Golden Non-Retriever

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

Kultural K9's.

'Well, they're just great for running down gazelles and jackals!'

"Yeah well, now that we're married, he's not making any effort: he hasn't been to a grooming appointment in months!"

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

This is Giselle, our bichon frise, and Fred, our legacy pet.""This is Giselle, our bichon frise, and Fred, our legacy pet."

Over the years, Marvin began to look like his bull mastiff.

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

"She's a golden retriever...I've always had a thing for blondes!"

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."

'That's Milly for you...she buries her bones the minute she gets them.'

Male dog taking a toilet break.

Dog to dog: 'I hate the way pointers are always blaming somebody else.'

Headshot of perky dog.

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

'He's half sheepdog and half rottweiler... first he rounds 'em up and then he eats 'em!'

"If you're looking to adopt a dog that's good with cats, may I suggest Ruffus."

"He was sold to me as a Weimaraner but I really think he's more of a Wisenheimer."

Botox sharpei

Most dog-like dog.

'David discovered that the New & Improved Dog Food was more New & Improved than his New & Improved Canned Soup.'

Best in Heat.

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

English Goal Setter