Modeling Humor Gifts

'This is your last warning. Move again and I quit!'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

"Any questions?"

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'Gentlemen, I've been authorized to sweeten the offer.'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'Yes, all at once!'

'We earn extra money by renting out your office at night.'

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'