Mock Trial Enthusiast Gifts

'It's all very well trainees learning in a classroom setting...'

First we sue the guy who saved your life. We'll file a no-class-action suit.

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

Trial by Media

'I really crammed last night.'

"You can't plead cute."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"Apparently Wilbur hasn't gotten that raise. He's still hamming it up for the boss."

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

Counsel's Opinion.

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

Disorder in the Court!

'Your honor, we are appealing on grounds the post-trial book deals didn't match the pre-trial publicity.'

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."

"Your honor, we were having so much fun being sequestered, we forgot what the defendant is charged with."

Closing arguments.

"It's clear from the replay that it was a leading question."

'Where was I on the night of the 7th of August? I was home washing my hair.'

Murder trials at the criminal court shown as a theatrical show

'Your Honor, we find the defendant to be the subject of misplaced guilt.'

'Your honor, the defense would like to buy a vowel!'

'It hasn't been a complete failure - we've learned volumes about falling.'

Innocent bystanders are real tough to convict: 'You saw it happen, why didn't you do anything?'

Lawyers offices, with todays score card. - Won...Lost ...Tied

'It's so cool we have another test today.'

'Are you capable of distinguishing right from wrong?', 'Can you give me a hint?'

Judge has work boxes labeled Sustained and Overruled.

'Hmm... He is remarkably dumb! He would be perfect for our new test-marketing position!'

''Not guilty,' eh? - Color me suspicious!'