Mock Trials Gifts

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

I love Lawyers

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"Bailiff."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"Mr. McMurdo has been called 'guilty as the day is long.' And yet, do not biblical scholars tell us a day can mean many things?"

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

'Don't bite it. I have to check Daddy next.'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'He started it!'

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

"Let me tell you, folks—I've been around long enough to develop an instinct for these things, and my client is innocent or I'm very much mistaken."

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

"This jury may not be swayed by any defense that relies on emotion."

Two lawyers in a royal court

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

'I'm worried since he was chosen jury foreman.'