Mobile Phone Plan Collector Pillows

'I used to be on contract but I'm pay-as-you-go, now...'

"Nuts to you, too."

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

The other digital divide.

'Here comes Mr. 'Smarter-then-you'.'

'Try his land line.'

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

'I'm not convinced you need tranquillizers to switch phone provider.'

"My phone won't fold but the manufacturer did."

"This plan gives you unlimited talk, hex and data."

"Grandpa can't hear you. Turn on your caps lock."

Bell invents the telephone.

"Grandma, somebody wants to talk to you, but I can't get your phone off this cord."

"I've traveled billions of light-years and visited countless planets. Earth is the only place I can't get a signal."

'Yes, I'm really modern now. I use a cell phone and no longer need a phone booth.'

"In the olden days, people used payphones. Beats me how they took selfies!"

'Dang it! I can't find a voting app.'

"No, you didn't wake me. I always sound like this."

'I'm not keen on getting any more apps, but I just had to have this one - it takes my unusually neat handwriting and digitally converts it to sloppy doctor writing.'

Investments: New Investors Get Free Cell Phone With Ringtone 'We're in the Money'.

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid your son just isn't very smart."

"I don't need to know your age. I saw you suing a flip phone, so I'll just assume you're old."

"In my day we had trimphones."

Mega Phone

'Our new app sells for $100 and detects intelligence. If a customer buys one, they don't have any.'

"I just pick a new one each season. How else would you get a new Apple?"

'I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to sell you that smart phone without first verifying your IQ.'

Wordilly Durdillies - Ringworm

'For deliveries press the hatch key.'

Shaped telephone box in a maternity ward.

Calling Home, "I'll get your mother..."

Life before mobile phones

'I though I'd developed tinnitus, then I remembered we still have a landline.'

Santa Claus delivers toys and Apps.