Mobile Bill Analyzers Gifts

'Wow! Look at the roaming charges on our cell phone bill!'

'I hate playing in an inflatable dome during a power outage.'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

Stephen King's latest horror novel: 'Healthcare reform debate'

Consortia set to take over

'I wish you'd put the heater back on Frank! Even the wall ducks have gone somewhere warmer!'

"He's refusing to pay the inflationary bits"

'Hello, Doc Barnes? I just got your bill. You've just bought yourself a cow.'

'On jobless...on foreclosed...on worry and insomniac!'

'Hmmmmm. I wonder if there were any roaming charges to call the moon.'

'We've had our new simplified gas bill!'

"Please tell me it's a local call..."

Hotel: Price List

"Just sign here, sir - it clears me of any responsibility."

"Hello sir - I'm from your energy supplier. . ."

'Sorry. In the time it took you to get out your credit card the price of smokes went up another 30 cents.'

New contract favours 'business-savvy' GPs.

TASERS...With the cost of electricity we could only afford 50 volts.

"No need to rush down - it's only the gas bill."

Energy Privatisation

"The phrase 'expect the unexpected' must have originated with someone trying to decipher their cell phone bill."

'I understand the fee for medications. But how come I was also billed for side effects.'

UK budget 2021.

"It doesn't matter if it was written in invisible ink or not. The fact remains that you signed the document without reading the small print."

Caution! Peak power and electric bill shock possible.

"Our gas bill's been levelled up."

'Give it to me straight, Doc. How many billable hours do I have left?'

'Is this for wiping greasy hands? No, it's your itemized bill.'

"He's something new. Our phone bill now has a monthly stub perforation fee."

"That $36 is for the wrong number you dialed. It belongs to a lawyer."

School Budget Cuts

"Is there a doctor in the house...preferably in-network?"

Financial Advisor. How would you describe your income and outgo? Instant conversion.

Feb. 28. Even in February

"Technical support was free, but they charged me long distance for the call to India!"