Bill Analyzer Gifts

'We've had our new simplified gas bill!'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

Stephen King's latest horror novel: 'Healthcare reform debate'

Consortia set to take over

'Hello, Doc Barnes? I just got your bill. You've just bought yourself a cow.'

'I wish you'd put the heater back on Frank! Even the wall ducks have gone somewhere warmer!'

"He's refusing to pay the inflationary bits"

'On jobless...on foreclosed...on worry and insomniac!'

'Poor me. . . pour me a drink!'

"Warren serves as my aggregator."

Business restraining law firms

"Alrighty, let's work out that copay."

"Please tell me it's a local call..."

'No, it wasn't a horror movie, It was the gas bill'

"Oh for goodness' sake, Brian. As if our gas bill wasn't high enough already!"

"Just sign here, sir - it clears me of any responsibility."

'Sorry. In the time it took you to get out your credit card the price of smokes went up another 30 cents.'

New contract favours 'business-savvy' GPs.

TASERS...With the cost of electricity we could only afford 50 volts.

Energy Privatisation

UK budget 2021.

"Our gas bill's been levelled up."

Caution! Peak power and electric bill shock possible.

"The phrase 'expect the unexpected' must have originated with someone trying to decipher their cell phone bill."

'I understand the fee for medications. But how come I was also billed for side effects.'

'They've redesigned the gas bill to make it clearer and easier to understand!'

Thames Water bills rocket.

"Honey, have you seen the size of this phone bill?"

'Give it to me straight, Doc. How many billable hours do I have left?'

School Budget Cuts

"That $36 is for the wrong number you dialed. It belongs to a lawyer."

"He's something new. Our phone bill now has a monthly stub perforation fee."

'Is this for wiping greasy hands? No, it's your itemized bill.'

"Is there a doctor in the house...preferably in-network?"

"Technical support was free, but they charged me long distance for the call to India!"