Phone Bill Analyst Gifts

'Maybe I could get a phone minutes bail-out package.'

'He's not a 'bad' phone. He's just not a 'smart' phone.'

You didn't text me that you met a guy! I couldn�t. There was no cell phone coverage. How awful. Diner. I'll say. What good is love � If you can't brag about it? Wow. Is that Shakespeare?

'I wish you'd put the heater back on Frank! Even the wall ducks have gone somewhere warmer!'

"He's refusing to pay the inflationary bits"

"Remember to round each billable hour off to the nearest week."

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

High electricity consumption in the summer

'Hmmmmm. I wonder if there were any roaming charges to call the moon.'

"Your bill includes a 10% surcharge that goes towards raising awareness of the rampant overcharging in the legal fraternity."

'We've had our new simplified gas bill!'

'I know it's a constant drain of electricity, but I rationalize that it also functions as a night light.'

Energy bills rise

"Please tell me it's a local call..."

'No, it wasn't a horror movie, It was the gas bill'

'Our water bill is more than we spent on our vacation because you again left the toilet running the whole time we were away.'

Catsulation

As the earth's temperature rises, shouldn't my heating bill fall?

'...Send again doesn't look like they got it.'

TASERS...With the cost of electricity we could only afford 50 volts.

"Our gas bill's been levelled up."

Energy Privatisation

'I understand the fee for medications. But how come I was also billed for side effects.'

The AdRams Family no.27 - Big phone bill for the internet

Caution! Peak power and electric bill shock possible.

'Give it to me straight, Doc. How many billable hours do I have left?'

'Is this for wiping greasy hands? No, it's your itemized bill.'

"He's something new. Our phone bill now has a monthly stub perforation fee."

"Wait a minute! What parts and labor?"

'Remember, son, time is not money anymore - time is minutes.'

"It's the anti-doping agency. Did you take any banned substances while breaking the world record for number of hours on hold?"

My mobile phone bill keeps giving me headaches every time I get the bill!

"Technical support was free, but they charged me long distance for the call to India!"

'Wow! Look at the roaming charges on our cell phone bill!'

"Can I see the simpler phone plan again?"