Telecommunications Analyst Gifts

'He's not a 'bad' phone. He's just not a 'smart' phone.'

"You know, there are other emojis."

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

"I meant the dog!"

HUAWEI 5G

"Der, dad. . . it's wireless!"

'What does the internet have against my people?'

'I'm the groom's broker and I'll be seating you before the ceremony begins. Technical analysts will be sitting on the left, and fundamental analysts will be on the right.'

Progress?

Do your emails stand out from the rest?

Boss and worker communicating in exclaimation marks.

"It takes a while for technological advances to benefit everybody equally."

Weapons of War Through the Ages.

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

Money Today: "Ours is a cybercurrency. It's not a virtual currency or a cryptocurrency."

'Oh-oh- planned obsolescence!'

"We've induced the stem cells to grow into a fully functional, organically embedded communication device. We're calling it a 'cell phone'."

Networking

'Jack, I'm on a conference call right now.'

"You get the feeling that it's trying to communicate with us."

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

'With my new phone I can lie out of both side of my mouth 24/7.'

No, I don't have roaming service, I am the roaming service.