Misunderstanding Appreciator Gifts

"Kiss, you idiot. Not hiss."

'Yes,I did order an extra barrel,but for my shotgun.'

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

"I speak Latin, you know."

Big business is not evil

Joe, this is not my idea of 'paint night at the bar.'

"...but, seriously..."

"We pay the living dead wage."

'You feel awkward? You're the one who said we ought to hunt bare.'

She's disappointed. Doctor Frankenstein's online dating profile simply says that he's a "body-builder."

Starving Artist Show has paintings of food.

'I followed the old Wall Street adage and 'sold in May and went away.' That was in '74. Too bad there's no return adage.'

'Yeah, yeah, the ammo is included. ... OK, so remember - anyone asks? You've never seen me before in your life.'

'It's a Sam Shepard play with the usual props - burnt toast, live animals, and a penis or two.'

Gonna Suck

'Taking guard' 'The pessimist'

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it — who cares?!"

Greeting Card Shop: No Rhyme or Reason Cards.

"I wasn't dead yet."

'I get a lot of job offers..'

"Rayna's been kidnapped! And its all my fault!"

"I like the elephant in the room. With his memory he never screws up our lunch order!"

Ego Publishing: 'I'm sorry, but 'Slither A Mile In My Shoes' doesn't make any sense...'

'The school counselor says I have well-developed motor skills. Will you bring me a car?'

Godot Bound And Gagged In A Dark Office

Secateurs and non-secateurs

"It's that time of year when guys randomly explode."

Y2K Solutions Inc.

Alice in Wonderland - Trying to Behead the Cheshire Cat.

"My favorite is also 'let sleeping dogs lie'."

"I don't know a damn thing about art, but my back hasn't felt this good in years."

"I told him to trim a couple of inches off the middle and he thought it was a fat remark."

'I don't know anything about art and I don't know what I like.'

Waiting for Dogot

'When I asked for a bottle of house red...'