Awkward Appreciator Gifts

"Whoa, Baldo! That totally hot babe actually talked to you!"

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

I Pagliacci

"Kiss, you idiot. Not hiss."

Big business is not evil

"...but, seriously..."

"Dig deep! C'mon! You got this!"

"It's an adjustment being a handshake guy in a fist-bump company."

"And with that being said Polly became dinner." "Polly wanna cracker?" "Polly wanna piece of yo mama's sweet behind." "Oh boy..."

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

Turtle Blind dates

Starving Artist Show has paintings of food.

"I really think I can handle this date on my own."

"It's not you, Glen—it's your ex-wife. She's behind me, isn't she?"

Colin had heard that women liked honesty in men.

"I made a big mistake getting into ladies underwear..."

'I get a lot of job offers..'

'Yeah, yeah, the ammo is included. ... OK, so remember - anyone asks? You've never seen me before in your life.'

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it — who cares?!"

'It's a Sam Shepard play with the usual props - burnt toast, live animals, and a penis or two.'

Godot Bound And Gagged In A Dark Office

Waiting for Dogot

'When I asked for a bottle of house red...'

'Yes,I did order an extra barrel,but for my shotgun.'

'...and bring a friend. If you have one...'

'I don't know anything about art and I don't know what I like.'

"Are you binge watching again?"

"What clown has blocked the entrance outside."

"Ah, I'd give it a few minutes, pal. Maybe light a match."

'The return of the Jehovah's Witnesses'

Antiques, Furniture Stripping, Stripping.

Log in, paper out.

'Gail, my dear, please don't talk about sex - my God this is a restaurant!'